January 25, 2013

I Am A Hot Mess

Today was one of those days that make you cringe and wish you had never gotten out of bed. It didn't start that way, and for the first few hours of my day I was right on track. I got up at a decent time {which is impressive} and I made my breakfast and lunch, pulled together a cute but warm outfit, and did my hair and makeup perfectly. I brushed off my car, pleased that the snow came off without needing to be scraped, and hopped in and had a pleasant drive to work.

It all went straight to hell when I pulled into the parking lot and realized that I had left my work laptop at home. Let me explain the gravity of this situation to you: I live approximately 40 kms from my office. Typically in good traffic this drive takes me about 45 minutes, and today I had the pleasure of a quick drive in. But the later I leave my house, the more time traffic has to accumulate. So not only would returning home to retrieve my laptop suck as it would mean literally reversing my just-completed 40 km drive, but it would mean that on my way back to the office I would be stuck in terrible traffic that would double or triple my 45 minute commute. Compounding this problem was the fact that I had to attend a meeting at a satellite office, which was 40 km away from my office, in the opposite direction of my house. I had an hour and a half to go home, get my laptop, and then drive back past my office and out to the satellite office. Normally, for a drive of this length at this time of day I would afford myself at the very least 2 hours, sometimes more.

Not having the luxury of time, I started my car and drove as quickly as I could home, making it home in record time. I grabbed my laptop and set back out on the road, with one hour to spare before my meeting {which, by the way, I was supposed to be chairing}. I decided to take back roads to get there, in the hope that avoiding the highway would save me some time; looking back now, this well-intentioned plan may not have been the best idea, in that I don't know the back roads route all that well. I thought I knew exactly where I was going, and I have a pretty good sense of direction, so I figured that if I did get lost I could make it up as I went. However, what I didn't know is that the main road I chose to take slowly curved north - so slowly in fact that the change in direction is not noticeable while on the road. So when I thought I was going east, I was actually travelling north-east.

I am sure that you have already figured out that I am leading up to the inevitable fact that I got lost. I was frantically calling my husband for directions while trying to drive as quickly as possible, with the vain hope that pressing the gas pedal would get me to the meeting on time, regardless of where I was or the direction that I was travelling. Thankfully, he was able to figure out where I was and get me literally back on track. Unfortunately, I was still 15 minutes late for my meeting. But the other meeting participants were very understanding, and the rest of the meeting {thankfully} went off without concern.

At this point I thought the stress of my day was over. I left the satellite office and began the drive back to my office. I was rocking out to some great tunes on this highway, almost back to my office when all of the sudden and without warning my nose exploded in blood. It was like someone turned on a faucet in my right nostril and blood was gushing out. For no reason at all! So with one hand I tried to stem the bleeding, and with the other I tried to maneuver my car across the highway and onto the upcoming exit ramp. Thankfully I was able to do so without killing myself or others, and I was able to pull into a parking lot and get some tissues to soak up the sea of red. Once my nose stopped bleeding, I was able to finally check myself out in the mirror: The lower half of my face was covered in blood, as well as my neck and my left hand. It was in my hair, on my jacket, and all over my seat belt. What a disaster. I clearly couldn't go back to the office looking like this, but I couldn't just walk into a public washroom like this either, as I am sure I would have attracted a lot of attention and alarm. So I sat in my car and using tissues and a little saliva I tried to clean myself up as best as I could given what I had available.

After a lot of scrubbing I managed to make myself presentable and made my way back to the office. I was able to clean myself up in the washroom a little more, and I was finally presentable again. I slunk back to my office and half closed the door, and I remained there - hiding from disaster - until I left for the day. Thankfully I made my way home without incurring further catastrophe or forgetting anything else imperative to my day. But you know what they say: You can dress the girl up, but you can't take her out...

Photo Credit: Single Approachable Girl

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